Thursday, March 13, 2014

A poem for the reader's I don't have:


Remember

My baby teeth would recall 
Smiles from daydreams ago
But they’ve left me
these old pearls in their place.
My feet would recall
twirling to folk music, in haste;
spilling from grandpa’s accordion,
to the life I thought would befall.
But I’ve left them, absentees,
this me in my place.
The disappointment, though
all my old parts would have never expected.
Or those smiles from daydreams ago.
 Copyright Yelena Zhuravlev

Sunday, March 10, 2013

I wish we could run away from life and into each other. No work. No school. Just you and me and our love. Nothing to keep us apart or distracted. All the time in the world is not enough to spend with you and now the time I have must be diluted by responsibilities.

You are my one joy. Where ever I may run, it is always to be closer to you.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

All these doubts and inconsistencies I've noticed in the Talmud is not all for naught. The explanation "we just don't understand G-d's way" is no longer sufficient.

Luckily, Judaism has not always been this warped. This unreachable. Real Judaism does allow for dialogue, discussion, and evolution. I do not mean back in the 2nd century. I mean now. Today.

Karaite Jews. The more I learn, the more I want to know.
Here's a quick excerpt:
"Karaites place no value in the interpretations of the majority or the customs of the forefathers. On the contrary, Scripture teaches us: "Do not go after the majority to do evil" (Exodus 23:2). The prophets also warn us against following in the errant footsteps of the ancestors, as it is written: "be not like your fathers. who acted treacherously against יְהוָה"  
(2 Chronicles [Bet Divrei HaYamim] 30:7), and again: "they shall not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation" (Psalms 78:8). The same warning applies to the laws invented out of men's hearts, which the prophets call the "commandment of men learned by rote" (Isaiah 29:13)."

How wonderful a concept-- that we must be following the words of G-d not some outdated traditions made by Rabbis way back when.

That it is up to each and everyone of us to truly study and interpret the Tanakh.

Perhaps the real oral torah delivered from Sinai was this: to always use scripture for interpretation. Just that and then Rabbanites used their interpretations and made them law. How sad. I would love for a public debate between Rabbanites and Karaites. Dialogue needs to be resurrected between these 2 groups. One is wholly astray and should at the least, be made aware.

Thursday, April 5, 2012



Life is grand and wondrous. Full of opportunity. Full of glitz, glam and fortune. For some.
For others it is dull, grey, and vacuous. It is horrid that we live in a world carrying the burden of unjust deaths and murders.
But this post is to thank this world. Thank you for my wonderful fiance, who makes everyday a dream. Thank you for my acceptance into Columbia grad school for genetics. I may not have done what I set out to do with this blog but somehow adventure and love found me either way. I've been able to settle the confusions of my past and maintain the lifestyle so vital to me now. Since my last post I've been to Argentina, which I didn't like and Costa Rica, which I did. We all toot our horns to different tunes but if you listen closely, you'll see it doesn't matter unless you let it.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

While this blog was initially made to discuss the songs I've been living it has often led me to think of those songs I am not living, of those I cannot live. I've been having many doubts lately. Doubts about religion. If its truly as beautiful as I want to believe then why must I interpret it in my favor? Why is pursuit of intelligence and creativity shunted? I am not a penguin, can't be one.



Religion is like smoking cigarettes. Smokers know it gives them cancer but they've put so much of themselves into the tobacco they need something back, even if it's a metastasizing tumor.

Romance with Torah:

Waited but not long enough
To slough the scent
Of a supplement so rough.
Like a cigar to a vent
A bent inhalation-
One ration in and then sent
Out for preparation.
Cannot swirl you in deeper
With a reaper to gather
And lather for keeper
For a tongue to slather.
You’re like a cigarette
A threat to inhale just one time
So climb into depth
Can’t withhold the grime.
So coughing and choking
A stroking for measure
This pleasure of smoking
Is the package’s treasure.
Though you’re not fire
To admire your heat
Is for too sweet a liar
And here’s just a cheat.
Burned going down
And around till back up
To sup worth from a clown
Whose runneth over the cup.
When you leave, the taste
Of haste on the tongue stays
With strays of tar waste
Thick there for days.
You’re a habit I’m used to
Not new to using
Though bruising is true
For those musing
But the smell on the clothes
It goes to the heart,
to chart how it grows
as it breathes every part.
Expensive to buy
But to deny you is worse
So the purse will reply
paid in full by reverse.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The idea of missing a place, a time, or a moment is foreign to none. We share these confused emotions across the game board that determine our land boundaries. Yet the emotions are met with showers of disdain. While we may change as individuals the influences in our surroundings do not change in our absence. Therein lies the confusion, since the feeling of loss is both for the changes acquired and the habits forsaken. Often we forget what we miss, as different moments coalesce. The hard truth about missing someone/thing is because the emotion that underlies all the nostalgia and confusion is fear. Fear for the stagnant that our lives once yearned to engulf themselves in.


The song for today was 'Starlight' by Muse:


Our journeys, emotions, and memories all bring us back to a place of struggle; be it against our physical or psychological mortality. I have so much to miss.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I know I haven't posted all the music I have been living and the excuse is... I have been to busy living the songs.

I just returned from India yesterday. The songs I have heard, sang, thought, and lived were so flavored with adrak and achar my mouth still burns and waters after it. Although this blog has taken a different form all together because of my negligence I have never faltered from the mission I set out with it. Unfortunately I cannot begin again where I left off, somehow in life this track is always doomed for failure. As such I cannot merely make a bulk post of all the songs I have lived (it has been far more than 100 and far different from the list I had originally compiled). Plans are to be broken, however.



Life shouldn't go only according to plan. That is cheating yourself.